Strong Return On Investment!

Wife - Lets go for a dinner tonight.

Husband (HR Manager) - Ok.

Husband - Should we go to a sasta restaurant ? 

Wife - No. Let's go to Royal Palace hotel.

Husband - (silence for a minute) - Ok, See you at 7.O 'Clock.

On the way, around 6.30 pm...

Husband - Once time, I had pani puri competition with my sister and she ate 30 pani-puris and defeated me.

Wife - What's so difficult in it?

Husband - Defeating me in Pani-puri eating competition is so difficult.

Wife - I can easily beat you.

Husband - Please leave it. It's not your cup of tea.

Wife - Let us have that competition right now.

Husband - So you want to see yourself defeated?

Wife - Let's see.

They both stop at a Pani-puri stall and start eating...

After about 30 Pani-puris the husband gave up. 

The wife was also full, but to defeat her husband, she ate one more and shouted, "You lose."

The bill was Rs 50/- and wife was back home, happy with her bet win!

Moral of the Story...

Main aim of a HR Manager is to satisfy employee with minimum investments. Winning attitude with less investment, ensuring strong Return On Investment! 


Find a good job


To find a good job in Good Company boy Need 100% Talent
And Girl need Only 04% Talent
and Rest
( 36 )
)24 (
( 36 )
36 + 24+ 36 = 96 %


Man In Kitchen - 09 Picture



 For More Picture Click below :-

GANPAT-RAI


A Bihari GANPAT-RAI (who really needs a job) is being interviewed by Britisher, Colonel Smith.

Col. Smith: Haan toh Gaand Fat rahai (Ganpat-Rai) !!

Bihari: Nahi sir, Zyada nahi!!

Col. Smith: Kya 'zyada nahi' bolta hai, tumhara application mein likha Hua hai 
Gand fat rahai.

Bihari : Theekh hai mai baap, likha hai to fat raha hoga.

Col. Smith: Tum Daily marata hai (tum delhi me rahta hai)?

Bihari : Nahi sir, kabhi kabhi!!

Col. Smith: Gand fatrahai, idhar aao, kya 'kabhi kabhi' bolta hai? Tumhara 
application mein likha hua hai ki tum Daily marata hai.

Bihari : Theek hai mai bap, likha hai to marta honga.

The Bihari was employed on one condition that he will do whatever Col.Smith's family asks him to do.

Col. Smith: Gand fatrahai!!

Ganpatrai : Ji maalik.

Col. Smith: Aaj tum ko 3 kaam karnee kaa haai

Ganpatrai : Hukum Sarkaar

Col. Smith: Tum pehla hamaari beti ko chodenga (drop her off)...baad mein 

hamaari biwi ko chodenga...aur uske baad mein hum ko chodenga.

Ganpatrai : Maaf karna Sarkaar, tumhari biwi aur beti to theek hai, lekin main aap ko nahi choddh sakta.

Col.Smith: Gand fatrahai! Tum ko hum ko chodnaa padhega.

Ganpatrai : Nahi sarkaar aisa zulum naa kare.

Col. Smith: Gand fatrahai, agar tum hum ko nahi chod sakta to hum tumko nokri se nikaal denga.���

Ganpatrai : Theek hai sarkaar ....jo hukum. After a few days There is no one except

Col.Smith'swife at home. She is alone in her bedroom.While wearing her bra she is unable to Tie the knot behind.So......

Wife : Gand fatrahai, idhar aaoo?

Ganpatrai : Ji Maalkin.

Wife : Gand fatrahai, hammara peeche se gaand maaro (gaanth maro-tie the bra knot).

Ganpatrai : Yeh kya keh rahi hai Maalkin??

Wife : Gand fatrahai, jaldi se gaand maaro hum ko late hota hai.

Ganpatrai : Nahi Nahi Maalkin. Agar maine aisa kiya to hum ko sarkar kacha kha jayenge.

Wife : Gand fatrahai, agar tumne jaldi se hamari gaand nahi maari to hum tumko kacha kha jaayengi.

Ganpatrai : Theek hai maalkin. Jo hukum. Ganpatrai who has been frustrated by these Brits for a long time starts like a bull. Panic striken the wife tries to turn and shouts :

Wife : GAND FATRAHAI, GAND FATRAHAI, GAND FATRAHAI !!!

Ganpatrai :Memsaab...Gaand maarega to Gaand to phatega hiiiiiiiiiii


Santa V/S Nurse


Santa ek din ek nurse ke saath sex kar raha tha.

Nurse chillai ki dard ho raha hai.


Santa: "Sali, khud wahan injection lagati hai jahan hole hi nahi hai, aur tujhe Hole mein dard ho raha hai"




Jaldi ghar aagaye


Anil road par nanga bhag raha tha.


Sunil ne usse rok kar poocha: Arre bhai aisa kyun kar rahe ho,
kyun nanga bhag rahe ho, tumhe sharam nahi aati?



Anil: Kyun ki aaj tum jaldi ghar aagaye, Issi liye.




Psychiatrist Session


GIRL: I have done a great sin. I called my boyfriend a BASTARD.

PSYCHIATRIST: Well now, that's not a nice thing to call anyone, 
so what did he do to deserve that?

GIRL: Well, he kissed me.

PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?

GIRL: .. Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL: But, he put his hand in my bra.

PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?

GIRL: Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL: But, he took my clothes off.

PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?

GIRL: Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL: But, he had sex with me!

PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?

GIRL: .Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL: But, he told me he has AIDS.

PSYCHIATRIST: BASTARD!



Pappu V/S Mummy


Pappu: Mom, Aap blouse mein paise kyu rakhti Ho ?

Mom: "Taaki tere papa ko pata na chale"

Pappu: "Mom aap bhi na, bechare papa roz kaamwali ke blouse mein dhoondte rehte hain"


Testimonial


Motu : Interview kaisa hua?

Patlu : Interview to theek hua, lekin last mein woh english mein kuchh boli "Show me your testimonial".

Motu : To phir.

Patlu : Mujhe lagta hai ki main ghalat cheez dikha ke aa gaya hoon.